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I'm not sure what's constraining your budget, but you're much better off using a phone book than cutting boards (Jesus Christ how small are these cutting boards?). It's more ergonomic and can be easily modified to give you better coverage and articulation.
There's a reason it's a traditional Glasgow solution.
*I am not fucking endorsing this boneheaded decision and this does not at all constitute expert advice. I take no fucking liability at all for what happens to you on the street*
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"He resisted. I asked him to comply."
"Telling him to 'eat it, bitch' is not really a request."
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